These are emails I shared with my mom From June 5th 2020 to July 1st 2022. The oldest starts at the top and the newest at the bottom. Will be adding a little at a time. We switched to Text after that. The last text I got from her was on September 9th 2025. That last text was asking me for prayer just before she went into the hospital, I was praying for her about 100 times a day for her; those last days. I prayed for her to be healed and live long and happy for example.
This page is going to take a long time to finish.
Updated September 30th 2025.:
Me.:
I did good for my mom. I turned into her own personal angel. I do not regret one single email. I wish I could edit every email explaining what I was talking about. Much of the emails are between me and mom and things only we get.
I tried to mom and me; it was not easy. I will try harder latter.
I finished the entire lawn this morning. Wife also finished trimming all the branches from the dirt road that runs through our 1 acre . The garbage man will like it.
I remember pleading the blood of Jesus from our penicostal days. I like it still though. Pleading for the blood of Jesus still sounds right to me. It is all about Jesus's blood that we are going to heaven and can pray to God.
It is very creepy everywhere I go. I hate wearing a mask but I am glad I do, to set a good example. People are either very angry for seemingly no good reason or weirdly quiet and put offish. No seems optimistic at all. Optimism should be my middle name.
I told you the warm weather was headed your way. If it is like here it should dry up soon.
One more day of Wife's vacation and I will be sad when she goes back to work like the first day of school. Exactly like the first day of school.
You just have to have the nicest lawn ever. I am glad wife was able to help out.
MOM:
Having focused on the New Testament going through those days I can tell you it transformed my spiritual core. Raised as a catholic all I knew was to fear God. I never felt worthy of anything. It tore down my soul. Jesus helped me to realize the love of God for all of us. The more I studied the more I realized how much God loves me. My soul and my spirit was finally free from rejection. Every day and every night I thank God for his unending love. My spirit and soul rejoicing in God brings me peace.
Stay optimistic in all your thoughts we all need more optimism to get through all these turmoil. Stay away from all negativity. If you see it, run. If you think it, pray.
Well thanks for sending warmer weather but could you have sent it without rain and heavy humidity! My little place is comfortable because I never open the windows during this season because I am allergic to life out there. It’s dry and comfortable in side here. I know the day is coming when I have to lug out my two air conditioners but not today.
I am really sorry wife has to leave you and go back to school. I know that empty feeling all to well. I makes me remember the first day of school for each one of you. Your little hand letting go of me and feeling like I was loosing you to the world. First day of school for each one of you I went home and cried. Leo being the last, I said to Maria, I’m not going through this again. So we made a pack to call each other after the bus left so we wouldn’t cry. It worked for the moment but I still cried.
When you love someone so much that they are the only one you really want to be with it is hard to be apart. I piece of you is missing and you just feel empty but as you know by now, this to shall pass. Feel the emptiness only long enough to realize just how much you love and appreciate that person, it gives you value. Then dive into a hard project.
Or plan a meal that is going to take up most of your day and then the emptiness will leave because now you are excited about them coming home to your surprise dinner.
Love, Mom
Me.:
Yes the lawn across the road is all good if you call it a lawn. It is more like mowing a field in the wilderness. I did come to realize that it makes my back sore to mow the lawn. I said to wife this year "I get back pains this time every year"; then I realized it is the same time I start to mow the lawn. Thanks to you and all your allergy talk I realized I need a mask, so I am not sick anymore.
Mom your whole life was never about rejection. You have always been a pretty good looking woman. I remember when you were mistaken for my sister when I was about 12 years old. Knowing that Jesus died for us; does make you thankful and that is the gospel in it's simplest form. Jesus died for the whole world and that is the total opposite of rejection, though.
Optimism could be compared to hope. and the bible says there is always hope. Romans 8:24 - For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?
The warm weather started with rain here too.
No mom wife is not going back to school. She is going back to work after a week's vacation. It feels like the 1st day of school though. I never want to think of being separated from my wife; I believe I would die quickly after that because my body would not want to live. Until then I know that God would have great vengeance on anyone that would separate us: Mark 10:9 “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” King James Version (KJV)
I think I remember you crying after we went to school. I remember Richard crying at the school. We went to the kindergarten together. I did not cry, I liked it. Me and Richard had fun together in Stilman school.
I looked up "this too shall pass"; it is not from the bible, found this on Google: Does the Bible say this too shall pass? There is no “This too shall pass bible verse” in any translation of the Bible in existence today. ... It's not in the Bible.
It's Persian: "This too shall pass" is a Persian adage the specific phrase seems to have originated in the writings of the medieval Persian Sufi poets.
MOM.:
Well I guess everything I wrote in my last e-mail to you upset you very much.
I only expressed my feelings and beliefs. I surely did not feel, at the time, that my beliefs would upset you in any way.
I have come a long, long way in my relationships with God. Remember I am twenty years older than you are. I am finally at a place of peace within myself and strength.
I walk with God in every step of every day and enjoy his presence.
It was a busy weekend for us. We were at a huge cookout and it poured most of the time. Luckily, they had a big house so we all enjoyed the day.
Yesterday was a little quieter and I spent the bulk of the day sitting outside at Neil’s. It was to cold and windy for the beach. Neil, Brien and Mark hosted another AA meeting in the evening. Due to Coronavirus these meeting have been banned. Three weeks ago they decided to have a small group outside and it’s been working well.
Me.:
You did not upset me at all. I was simply making a statement. What ever you believe about God is not my business to detour in anyway. I do not know is you mean when you right this too shall pass or when I was agreeing with about Jesus dying for us. Either way I do not understand how that makes you think I was upset. I just was showing you what I thought of those two subjects. My statement about wife and I goes with the territory that is my life with her and has very little to do with you; that is mostly obvious to me. This is what I love about email I can read what I wrote. Maybe you think I was upset by my strong opinions about my personal views of things in my life that have nothing to do with you, except your comments that was my response to. It did seem weird that you responded to thinks I did not write, that did not upset me either though, just puzzled me. I did have to try to explain why, but not out of being upset at all.
Burning hot here. I need to get in the AC; ASAP. Mornings are nice though. As soon as the sun goes down it gets cooler too.
MOM.:
OK, all is well with me.
Still not hot enough for me to dig out the air conditioners. Good, because it usually breaks my back.
Everything that could go wrong did go wrong yesterday for me. I was glad to see the day. Come to an end.
I am still working with the Certified Hand Therapist. We are making some progress. My middle finger, on my right hand does concern me. I think it will mean surgery in the end.
My Therapist still thinks there is hope.
My email was meant to help you. If it came across as me being upset, it was my work; to try to be of help. I do the same thing with wife too and I love her; with all the powers that be.
Way to hot here. It was a little windy yesterday.
I am getting really good at vegetables. I bake them then make a cheese sauce and put in the small oven and broil it. Then later warm it up for dinner. It feels good to take a break from meat once and awhile. We will be having cheeseburgers and french fries for the next two days. wife loves ketchup with french fries but I think there must be sugar in it, it wakes me up too much.
Is there a time limit on your finger?
My email seems to be getting better at correcting my grammar. Something new.
Love you mom, will pray for your finger with wife today.
Well today there is a really good chance that I will be going to the beach!!!!!!!!
It is suppose to be full of sunshine most of the day. Wind will pick up later in the afternoon and bring in rain, lower temperatures and an all day rain tomorrow.
I have hopes that we might get sun at leas one day this weekend. I love going to the beach and soaking in the sunshine and because of coronavirus and just plain bad weather it has taken so long to get here. We are in June and it has been feeling like April.
I love vegetables very much. I eat a very small portion of meat and fill my plate with what ever vegetables I have. I still love pasta dishes and of course all seafood. I don’t have a problem with ketchup but I use very little of it. I am sensitive to sugar and have to be cautious not to eat any in the evening hours or I will have a hard time falling to sleep.
Thanks for praying for my hands.
Well wish me a good day at the beach!
Me.:
Remember I said the wind was kicking up yesterday? When the wind kicks up here it usually means change in weather. I thought that the only way it could change is to be colder and that would be impossible for June 9th. I was wrong; it got down right cold yesterday and today. It must be some kind of record. I just looked it up and it is about 56 here and the average low is 67. I imagine it is headed toward you.
The lawn still looks good this week so I may be taking it easy this week. Maybe I can play my game some more.
Can.t wait for cheeseburgers today. I have some Cobalt white cheddar cheese. I used to love the white cheddar cheese I used to get in Connecticut from Vermont. I like to steam the burgers and wife likes them that way too. Since I cook all the vegetables in the oven I can get some use from our steamer. I cook the vegetable in the oven without oil. I think it comes out better with more natural taste.
It is always good to get outside to admire the Lord's creation; so I am sad for your lack of beach day.
Micah 7:19 - He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.
Psalms 139:9 - 127:10 - [If] I take the wings of the morning, [and] dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; (Read More...)
Amos 9:6 - [It is] he that buildeth his stories in the heaven, and hath founded his troop in the earth; he that calleth for the waters of the sea, and poureth them out upon the face of the earth: The LORD [is] his name.
Genesis 1:9 - And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry [land] appear: and it was so.
Habakkuk 2:14 - For the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea.
Genesis 1:2 - And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness [was] upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
Proverbs 20:5 - Counsel in the heart of man [is like] deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.
Psalms 139:9 - 127:10 - [If] I take the wings of the morning, [and] dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; (Read More...)
Amos 9:6 - [It is] he that buildeth his stories in the heaven, and hath founded his troop in the earth; he that calleth for the waters of the sea, and poureth them out upon the face of the earth: The LORD [is] his name.
Genesis 1:9 - And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry [land] appear: and it was so.
Habakkuk 2:14 - For the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea.
Genesis 1:2 - And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness [was] upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
Proverbs 20:5 - Counsel in the heart of man [is like] deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.
MOM.:
You are so right when you said your weather is coming my way. Until about 3:00 PM it was beautiful here after that the clouds came in and the wind picked up. This morning it is dark, windy and a lot cooler. We are expecting several storms throughout the day. I got the two air conditioners out of storage but still no need to put them in. They are going to sit in the living room until it gets so hot that I have to set them up. It took me a couple of years to change over from window air conditioners to portable air conditioners and I love them. It’s not totally easy but a heck of a lot easier and a whole lot cleaner. They eliminate all of the humidity in the house and you never have to empty them.
Neil is coming over for dinner tonight and we are having pasta with my homemade sauce. Neil is crazy about my sauce, meatballs and sausage. He is already excited on our morning phone call.
We have plans to go to Lenny’s Indian Head seafood restaurant this Saturday night. It’s been since the outbreak of coronavirus that we have gone anywhere. They are only serving outside dining following all the rules of social distancing. I’m excited to finally feel social and to finally get out to dinner.
Me.:
Well we are up 2 degrees from yesterday. The average for this time of year is 10 degrees higher. It carries over throughout the day too. The whole day seems cooler because the mornings are so chilly. Really weird for the middle of June. I know you told me about the inside ac units years ago.
When I slow cook up a batch of sauce it smells so good in the house I can barely stand it. Our dog goes nuts too.
I took wife to an outside Seafood place near Hammonasset when we camped out there in the cold early spring before we took that van and moved to California where there is no shellfish at all. There was no one on the beach when we woke up in the morning to watch the sunrise. I sure do miss that beach smell. It smells like the depths of the sea:
Micah 7:19 - He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.
MOM.:
Yesterday Neil and I went to the beach. We could only stay about 2 hours. It was 85 degrees and the sun was steady and intense. We tried to go for a walk but the sun was burning our feet. The water is still so cold so that was no refuge. Oh well, at least I got to the beach.
No beach today: Only 71 degrees and cloudy. Great, right, New England weather is still strange.
Me.:
It is about to get very hot here too. No inbetween just chilly to hot as always. The mornings are still a little chilly though. It helps keep the house cool so I am not complaining. In the hottest weather here it is hot even in the dark early mornings.
The hot summer weather can really take your energy away. You have to hydrate a lot. I like drinking cool tea. I am finding more and more the benefits of different types of tea for stress and thinking clearer.
Found this on Google:
MOM.:
Your weather sounds just like mine. Steering hot one day and then a 10 degree cool down the next. Boy am I glad I didn’t put in my air conditioners on that one hat day.
Still being able to get away with overhead fans in the bedrooms. It’s cool and dry.
I don’t like to open the windows to let in pollen and humidity.
Yes, Neil is always trying to hydrate me. He drinks a lot of water all the time. He sweats very easily. I never sweat, maybe a few drops on my nose or upper lip but that’s about it. I tried drinking a lot of water for awhile last summer and I started getting these banging headache. I was told that I was over hydrating and that was the cause for the headaches. I am going to increase how much water I drink and what will be good for me without over doing it.
I have been having a lack of energy way before it started to warm up.
Not much going on here.
Note to self.: cold hot cold next.
